Tuesday, April 05, 2005

putting my foot in it

I'm walking around with a nappy strapped to my foot. No, I haven't completely lost it. Though I have lost part of my heel. What happened was, this morning I dagged around to the shops to get milk believing that the object of my crush, who works near the shops, was safely away this week on a surfing trip. So I was just wearing old trackies and thongs and had pulled my hair up in an untidy bunch without even brushing it. And I'd been up since 4am so I looked shabbier than usual.
Of course, when I got to the shops there he was. Because of the rain, their trip had been rescheduled. Argh! Double argh! Isn't that just always the way!
This is after I've spent about a month wondering about him and if I'll see him again. We live in a very small town, but for some reason, our paths hardly ever cross. It's like he never existed. In fact, I'd just about written him off and gotten over it, but then when I saw him again this morning and attempted a chat, I realised--jesus, I still have this ridiculous crush on him!
And as usual, I turned into a goofy, gawky, tongue-tied idiot.
"So, where's the beard?" Great opening line. When I'd seen him in the past, he'd been sporting a sort of very long thin goatee, but it seemed to have disappeared.
Him (stroking his cheeks): "Oh, it's coming, it's coming..."
Only then did I realise he has been growing a full beard. A full beard! As long-time readers will know, I am partial to full beards on men. Anyway, that's just an example of the dorky behavior I exhibit around him.
I wanted to say, "Excellent! I love beards!"
I wanted to say, "Oh hey, I've been meaning to get your number."
I wanted to say, "So why don't you ever come around for a drink with G.?"
I wanted to say, "My god, you're attractive."
Instead, I stood smiling and then I eventually just pushed off with the stroller.
Then I meandered home kind of dreamily and, when slamming the screen door shut, managed to leave one foot in the doorway and so carved out a large piece of my heel as it slammed shut. YEEOOOWW! That'll teach me.
And I have no Band-Aids at present, hence the nappy.
I mean, I'm sure he's not interested in me, because he could easily make contact with me. Then again, perhaps he just thinks I'm dating G (I'm still not). I'm not really his type anyway: he's way too-cool-for-school and I tend to err on the side of dagdom, and after all, he's probably after some cute young surfie chick.
Still, it's kind of fun having a crush. Makes me feel young again.